Motherhood is a state of being a mother.
Being a new mom is the state of being a mother for the very first time. I am a new mom. And I can confidently tell you that having a child brings the whole world into a whole new perspective. They say it's a joy, that it is. They say it's challenging,but they probably don't tell you how challenging it really can be.
When I found out I was pregnant,I cried. I was terrified ,I wondered how I'd manage such a life. A life where it stops being about you and all about someone else. A little person that doesn't talk but has to completely be thought for. My body changing. The endless responsibility. The constant worrying. The mere fact that I'd no longer be able to randomly go on a trip to for example Nairobi just to change a setting,refresh my mind. I was scared. But I was ready. My body was ready but I had to work on my mind. I had a whole 10 months to do that.
Labor is a whole other gruesome topic. When the baby came, I was mentally set for this new chapter in my life...Motherhood. I was blessed to go home a day after I gave birth to this beautiful bouncing baby girl. I settled into my home. The first few days of having a baby may fool you into thinking it is easy. They sleep for hours on end. If you have the right people around you,they'll advise you to sleep while the baby is sleeping. I never took that advice,I was constantly lethargic. Then the colic days came and I wasn't ready. I don't care what they say,no one can ever be ready for the wails of a baby with colic. It's the mystery tummy ache babies get for about 3 months. It takes a toll on you . But it comes and swiftly goes. As you approach the third month,the baby will learn to smile. Every time you look at her she will smile at you and it will bring joy to you. She can recognize your face and your voice. It's a wonderful thing to experience.
Motherhood comes with a lot. There's the sleepless nights. You can't seem to catch any proper sleep. The days short and hazy. And then there's the forgetfulness. What they usually call "Baby Brain"; I can't seem to remember where I put anything! I forget people's names, birthdays, appointments etc... Although I'll not forget my baby's immunization dates or how old she is in weeks. Generally speaking my mind is consumed by my child and everything that accrues to her.
To curb this, I've slated time to do a bit of reading, I play the logo game, word games and other similar stuff.
My baby is 6 months at the moment. I sometimes feel a sense of loss of my old self. I miss being able to spend time away from home with my friends. Being in the house 24/7 can surely take a toll on your livelihood. Fortunately, I have a big family and whenever I want to have a break, they are there to babysit for me. The little time I am away from my baby is guilt filled (I never seem to understand why), but when I get back home, my mind is renewed and I'm ready to be the best mom I can possibly be. It's important for someone to have a good support system.
I can't exhaust the challenges of motherhood because they vary from one mother to another. Below are some of the ways to cope with these problems ;
1. Find time for yourself. It Is important to create time to do something that will lift your spirits. You can read a book, a trip to the hair salon or watch a movie. This will bring renewal to your mind to be able to tackle your daily duties.
2. Take only the advice you feel will work for you. You will find that everyone has an opinion on how to go about raising and taking care of your child. It can get overwhelming causing you stress because of all the confusion it brings. Take the time to research on the different topics and you will zero in on what works for you.
3. Accept Help
I had trouble accepting any help when it came to taking care of the baby. I was accustomed to doing thing by myself. When the baby came, I learnt to lean on the help of those around me. It keeps me sane.
4. Create a routine for your child.
When you create routine around the baby's sleeping and feeding schedule, time becomes available to you.
5 . Rethink your priorities
When you adjust your mindset to what is important, you'll cope better with the stress motherhood brings.
6. Last but not least, Try to embrace to changes you are going through.
This may seem trivial but the more you fight it, the harder it gets. Accept that you have transitioned into another season of your life and with it comes new experiences.
About the author: Brenda Nanjovu is a new mother to a six months old princess!
She is the founder of a Beauty/make-up company called BeeDolled dedicated to enhancing natural beauty or transforming people's faces for different occasions. She studied Industrial Psychology at Makerere University, Kampala. Her hobbies include eating, reading, travelling to see new places, meet new people.