Mrs. Rita Tisa is a wife, a mother of a two year-old girl, and a seven months old baby. She is an entrepreneur and a human resource specialist by profession. She spoke with Malketha Maternal Services about her experience with motherhood thus far.
What does parenthood mean to you?
To me parenthood is the beginning of understanding love as it is supposed to be. It is being selfless and putting the needs of your children and others before your own. Parenthood is sacrificing for my children and the beginning of responsibility as I never imagined before. You have these little beings that depend on you for everything and look up to you and believe in you. This means I have to constantly work at being the best version of myself for my children cause in a way they will reflect how I raise them when they go out into the world.
What went through your mind the very first time you confirmed you were going to be a parent?
I was excited and scared at the same time. I kept feeling different ways at different times. One minute I was excited, the next minute I was overwhelmed and then I could not wait to find out the sex of the baby. My feelings were all over the place. Thankfully my husband was there every step of the way to encourage me and calm me down or be excited with me. But mostly I could not wait to meet my child and just look at her and hold her and feel all the things I had always heard about.
How did you prepare for this journey physically, mentally, emotionally etc.?
When I found out I was pregnant with my first baby, I knew I had to start eating right, I mean eating more vegetables and getting all those nutrients I needed. Whatever the gynecologist recommended, I tried to do because I wanted a health perfect baby. I literally read up on anything and everything about pregnancy, and got an app to help prepare me mentally and even guide me on what to eat and what to expect when the baby came. I was searching on Google and reading up on pregnancy. It was fun because I got to learn a lot about my pregnancy and it helped me stay calm throughout my first pregnancy. It was also really fun because the app had chat rooms with women going through the exact same thing like me so it was comforting. Reading helped to keep me calm and also talking to my sister who is a mother of five helped me stay grounded. However, the key thing for me throughout my pregnancy was staying constantly connected to God. I talked to God on a daily and prayed over my child. This started before I got pregnant and my prayers were specific, I will say God answered my prayers above and beyond my wildest dreams. I will forever glorify his name.
What is the one moment that stands out for you from before or after having your child?
While I was pregnant, I really could not wait to meet my baby. I just had this impatience to meet her. The day she was born and I laid my eyes on her, she felt delicate and precious. I remember thinking that we are responsible for this child in every way and we have to put her first before anything else in our lives. In that moment, it hit me that our lives were never going to be the same ever again, but in a good way.
How has it changed the way you view mothers or motherhood?
I have new respect for mothers and motherhood. Before I became a mom I did not really think much about motherhood or mothers. I was living my best life yet. After becoming a mother and seeing how much work it entails, I respect my mother more now than ever. I have more respect for mothers in general and I do not judge other mothers because they are doing the best they can with what they have.
Who are the people that are part of your support system? What roles do they each play?
My husband plays a huge role with our children. He is very hands-on with daily activates like changing them, bath time, play time and also takes time to pray for them daily. With the pandemic, he has been working from home and the babies have enjoyed spending time with him. I have a nanny who helps out with the babies because sometimes you need a time out. I usually can rely on both my mum and my hubby’s mum and my sister/matron when I need someone to babysit the babies. They all are a blessing especially when you need some down time as a couple which when the babies come is a rare gift.
What are you learning about being a parent that you did not fully realize before?
I cannot be perfect, I am a work in progress and only God can give me the grace and wisdom to raise my children in a godly way. As a parent, I have learnt that I am more patient than I ever thought humanly possible. I keep reminding myself that children do not do as they are told. However, they watch us and do what they see us doing. As a parent, I have learned that my daughter will watch how I speak, eat, walk and seat and try and do exactly that. I'm sure I will keep learning new things that I never fully realized as a parent.
How has parenthood changed your relationships between you and your loved ones?
I am more patient and understanding. I have become a better daughter, sister and friend for it. Now, I understand when someone cancels a date or is not able to show up last minute. I have learned to give a lending hand to other mothers just for them to have time off or even go out on a date. It’s the least I can do because I know I need the help now more than ever so I might as well do it for those around me.
What is your one go-to when things are not going as planned? How does it help you?
No matter how much you plan, things are bound to happen that are out of your control. I have learned to lean on God more and trust that He will make away no matter how dire the situation. It helps me stay calm and when everyone is getting worked up and I seem to be relaxing and enjoying myself, its because I know that God has my back and the rest-well, its not the end of the world. It works like a charm every time.
What is the one thing that you think other parents should know?
I'm a mother of two babies under two years. I keep reminding myself that simply because I am a mother of such little ones does not mean I should stop taking care of myself. Please remember to take care of yourself and your relationship with your husband is equally as important because one day, in the not very far future, these children will grow and go out there and live their lives. Let’s all remember to nurture and invest in all our relationships because they are much more than the children we bring into this world.
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