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Trusting the process

After marriage, everyone longs to hear one this exciting news, “you’re pregnant”. It was the case for me on the 17th of June 2017 shortly after my traditional wedding. I was 2 weeks pregnant. Yeah! I’m very exact, that’s how anxious I was to meet the little princess I had growing in my tummy. Nothing was more exciting for me knowing that I was about to bring a human on earth. I was head over heels excited for the little fetus. It was an action-packed journey I must say. Regular hospital visits (about 20 ANCs), religious adherence to folic acid tablets, late night very painful muscle pulls and much more. Just like any first time mother, there was a lot of imagination, fear and thinking of the worst case scenarios (story for another day).

At eight months, very exhausted and impatient, I decided to take my maternity leave with hope that the baby would cooperate and come out before the due date. This was a very bad idea I must admit. Staying home alone was so boring and stressful for my family members. With so much time at my disposal, I made frequent visits to the hospital for the ultra-sound scans hoping that the due date would miraculously come forward but in vain. Tired of waiting, I visited the hospital and requested the gynecologist to induce labor which he declined with emphasis on patience and promises of having a normal delivery at the right time. I therefore had to patiently wait for the 2 weeks to my due date which eventually passed. This is where my real story begins.

On the 27th of Feb 2018 at around 5:30 pm, I began to notice some of the labor signs I was longing for. You cannot imagine the panic this threw me into; I called my husband and sounded like the baby was already on its way out. Knowing the Kampala traffic, I was shocked at how fast my husband moved from his place of work to home. When we got to the hospital, I expected all health workers to act in panic because I was in panic. But hey, it wasn’t an emergency, I even had no labor pains right that moment. First of all, I was 2 days past my due date but the nurses didn’t seem bothered since I hadn’t experienced any labor pains yet. They did what they had to do after which they wanted to send me back home. Due to the distance between my home and the facility, they let me keep around just in case things changed some time during the night. And yes, they were right. Reality checked in at around 10pm when I experienced labor for the first time, My God! So PAINFUL! Painful as they were, I wasn’t making any progress which called for induction. The whole process went on till 1st March 2:00 pm when the gynecologist finally broke the bitter-sweet news that it would not be possible for me to have a normal delivery. The only option now was a C-section; that was the only thing I wanted to hear at that moment. The pain was REAL.

The long awaited time came and the baby arrived. Guess what? It wasn’t until after a couple of days that I eventually met the greatest gift that life can ever offer. Due to the long labor, the baby was tired and had to be put in the nursery to stabilize the breathing and for close monitoring. In that moment of helplessness, a Pediatrician came over to explain everything about the baby and when to expect her. He narrated that she had been affected by the long labor and therefore needed close monitoring which would go on till 11am the following morning. That was the longest time of my life, an hour seemed like years. The devil is a liar!

It kept ringing in my head that the baby had passed on and that the entire wait was for nothing. Every time my husband would move out of my nursing room, for some reason I would hear voices of people crying. I was so convinced that my dream of carrying a baby and being called mummy was over. The worst bit was when it clocked the promised time 11am and the baby was nowhere to be seen. It was a moment of disappointment, confusion and devastation; very many regrets, anger and blaming God for forsaking me in the time I needed Him the most.

They always say, “Trust the process” but it was hard for me at that moment. It took me another 30 hours to meet my princess but trust me, it was all worth it. This is how she looked at our first meeting, the little version of me. So CUTE!

About the author;

Moureen Asimire is from Mbarara, Uganda. She is ardent about defending the rights of vulnerable groups and upholding their dignity to ensure their ability to be productive members of their communities. Since 2015, Moureen has worked as a Monitoring and Evaluation Officer at IntraHealth International to strengthen human resources for health systems. Prior to that, Moureen was a Data Clerk at Cardno, enhancing timely funds disbursement and implementation. In her free time, she enjoys dancing and meditation.

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